RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 9 Episode 5: “Kardashian: The Musical” – TV Show Review on Looks

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With Dame Charlie Hides making her final bow at the RuPaul Drag Race kingdom, the 11 remaining queens had basically boasted an episode with something everyone was dying AND living for; the drama… the shade… the T… the everythang! For this seasons first mini-challenge—which thank god it finally happened—the queens had to pose in a selfie with the pit crew (aka a crew of men wearing just underwear). There’s a few queens that could have easily snatched the edges of this challenge, but QUEEN COME FORTH! Alexis Michelle, who has been literally performing so flatline this season, wins the challenge. Gurl… FINALLY! So, she assigns the roles for each Kardashian (and friends) to a queen; her picking the momager of reality TV Kris Jenner; Aja, Cynthia and Nina as Kourtney, Kim and Khloe Kardashian, Farrah and Valentina as Kylie and Kendall Jenner, Shea as Blac Chyna, Peppermint as Britney Spears (like, what the hell?), Sasha and Trinity as Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton, and Eureka as North West (okay… what the hell?)

This was an episode full of pettiness, shady pettiness, laughable pettiness, and… wait for it!… emotions. It first started with a bunch of queens feeling misplaced with who they were assigned for in the Kardashian musical, especially Ms. Nina Bo’Nina Kim Kylie Kendall Kourtney Khloe Kris Kardashian Brown’s meltdown that Ms. Alexis didn’t choose her to play Blac Chyna (like, really gurlfriend? Get over it…). Then went onto the attitude of some of the members doing the rehearsals because SOME couldn’t do simple routines or just were hard to work with (lord…) THEN it went onto a collective group of queens, namely Sasha Velour and the precious Valentina with struggles of eating disorders, and Shea’s triumphant announcement that she once had severe bulimia. Y’all, this season is getting heated with sadness that it’s gon’ be a tearjerker til’ the end of the SEASON queen (not really, but I feel their confessions deeply.)

This weeks looks were inspired by faux par fur fashion, which is probably one of the most uninspired runway themes in my opinion (no shade Ms. RuPaul, but gurl… next…). Here are my reviews of each person’s performance and looks;


Aja

Ms. Thang turned the table this episode, coming around the corner from her spoilt attitude a couple of challenges ago, into a more supportive figure to the girls. Ahhhhhhh, bless the gurl. Now… back to the musical; out of all three major Kardashian sisters (no not the entire family), Aja’s portrayal of Kim was SICKENING! Of course she was initially confused with her being placed as Kim K. I mean, with a small frame with no bootay like Kim herself, who is Alexis really fooling in choosing Aja as Ms. Kim? Clearly it ain’t me gurl? But she blew it out of the water! But her white and sparkly Winter coat outfit, completed with leather straps and earmuffs? GORGEOUS! (Performance: TOOT / Look: TOOT)

Alexis Michelle

HALLELUJUAH! Alexis has actually pushed herself this week and brought the sugar to the tea with her glorious lip-sync as the Kardashian betch herself,  Kris Jenner! I couldn’t think of any other fab queen than Ms. Michelle to channel the momager in the skit, and her performance was definitely one of the most consistent and well-performed! Spot on Ms. Alexis! But gurl… the runway outfit. First off, I love a long as hell fur coat, completed with a similarly puffed up hat and is completed with her signature gorgeous make-up and weave. But the dress and shoes were just horrible! Simple, basic and boring, and literally looks store-bought. What a way to spoil a winning opportunity! (Performance: TOOT / Look: BOOT)

Cynthia Lee Fontaine

Aye aye aye… CuCu? Where was you at queen? Okay, I understand that Alexis’s judgement on placing Cynthia Lee as Kim Kardashian was just a big mistake overall, but I mean… come on Ms. Cuculina, you could have sold it. The lip-sync was rough, her performance was hodge podge, and the make-up was… in the words of Alaska… terrible. Not a good look on that cucu, queen! But I lived for her faux fur eleganza; it was a slick and dark furry dress that could be interpreted as a throw-over (a subtle hint to you Ms. Detox All Stars?). But the fit was waaaaaaayyyy too big, almost swallowing her. But… meehhh, I’ll give her a pass. (Performance: BOOT / Look: TOOT)

Eureka O’Hara

Eureka as North West in the year of 2025? Gurl, who you tryna’ play? Whatever drag queen, producer or spaced out nutcase thought that this was a perfect match clearly don’t know who Eureka and North West are (literally). But having said that, I felt that Eureka’s softer performance was achievable, and worked quite well! But can we talk about that JUMPSUIT! Fluffy frills! Flawless make-up! And her signature loaf weaves! Goodness, this looks like she fell into the pit of Season 8’s Neon Realness challenge, got spat out, and somehow, out came this dope outfit! Now THIS is flaunting the body (take note Trinity Taylor gurl). (Performance: TOOT / Look: TOOT)

Farrah Moan

Farrah… Farrah, Farrah, Farrah… Where to begin. First off, the Kylie Jenner performance was just lacklustre. No personality, no interesting body language, no props. Literally, I could look at Farrah that episode, cause she did look pretty gorgeous, and not even realise she was part of the team. She literally looked like a wannabe Kardashian fan on Instagram that tries to play paparazzi and find the Kardashian set, and somehow ended up on the RuPaul’s Drag Race stage. Gurl bye… next. As for the outfit? It was a pretty cute ensemble; definitely a departure from her previous looks, and a lot more vintage cutesy girl. But Ms. Moan, STOP RESTING ON PRETTY! I’m feeling a little eehhh with her looks recently, as she’s not up to scratch. Five episodes down already Ms. Moan… more is more! (Performance: BOOT / Look: BOOT)

Nina Bo’Nina Brown

Gurl, don’t we got lots to say about y’all performance (Well, not really) Here’s the thing; she was the bitter villain this episode with nothing but petty hatred against the queens for basically, and I mean basically doing… nothing. She is nothing but her worst enemy at this point and, for someone with killer looks and artistry to be completely overthrown by her own egotistic measures, isn’t cute. But her musical act as Blac Chyna Khloe Kardashian was actually fine and on point, but… a little mediocre. But that Mary J. Blige-meets-Real Ratchet Housewives looks was KILLA! The fur coat, hooker stockings, that ghetto-fabulousness hair-do, and matching fur boots was life… in a fully-sized padded drag queen! FIERCENESS! (Performance: TOOT / Look: TOOT)

Peppermint

As you thought North West’s inclusion was weird, get a load of Peppermint role-playing Britney Spears. Like, hasn’t there been like, three distinctive Britney Spears moments in all of RuPaul’s Drag Race, including a queen that… well, basically showcased that he was Britney in one entire season (no shade Ms. Derrick Barry, but that’s the T.) Even Peppermint herself was like “gurl, what the F?”. Despite this, she killed it with the routine! And her outfit for the fur runway was definitely an improvement from last week’s monstrosity; the extremely cute and fun big pink hair was completed with furry pink balls as a bodice and glimmering diamond jewellery, but that skirt… that plain ass pink skirt literally looks like last weeks skirt, only longer. SACK THE DESIGNER! (Performance: TOOT / Look: TOOT)

Sasha Velour

Sasha played the part as 2007’s Kim Kardashian’s best friend Lindsay Lohan… what better combo than putting an artsy and sophisticated queen as a queen of intoxicated teen mess back in that cringeworthy era. Ahhhhhh, memories (no shade Ms. Lohan, but… yeah.) Annnnnnwaaayyyy, Ms. Velour slayed the performance with a funny and comedic approach, which is just an addition to more points to her versatility as a performance. She completed the night with a Russian-like fun look, completed with pants and a headpiece that literally screamed Russia in Winter… and Summer… and Spring… and Autumn… because that country is colder than Bianca Del Rio’s heart (no shade). Though, I would’ve liked her to have worn another top piece instead of a plain white crop-top that screamed “boring”. Nevertheless, it was crisp and pristine! (Performance: TOOT / Look: TOOT)

Shea Coulee

GUUUUURRRLLLL… Blac Chyna was the role for diva Ms. Shea Coulee (or Nina Bo’Nina Black Chyna Brown…). Eitherway, Shea got the longer stick and played the ghetto fabulous Black Chyna, who served the look, the moves, the booty-poppin’, and the body-ody-ody (though, we can all agree that Nina’s padding takes over them queens). But her Jeremy Scott-meets-Harajuku Street Toy runway look, completed with small fluffy sides, green stockings with a viser on that luscious long weave was the cherry on top! If I gotta be honest y’all, probably one of my favourite looks on this seasons runway! (Performance: TOOT / Look: TOOT)

Trinity Taylor

First off; I was shook by her runway look. Giving me tribal realness with a pinch of Kimora Blac’s exit look (which was basically a Jungle Queen attire that barely received any good recongition *sigh*), this is definietly one of Trinity’s most powerful yet comanding looks, and a complete upper-cut to her challenge-winning look. Her performance in the musical, where she plays Paris Hilton, was quite fun as well, although I felt she could have really ampt it up with a more “dizty blonde Paris” realness because it felt like a split between Paris and Trinity. All in all, a solid performance! (Performance: TOOT / Look: TOOT)

Valentina

Okay y’all… you will all probably all say to me “What the hell?” or “what are you saying Liam?”, but truth be told, this is probably the first week where I felt that baby queen Valentina didn’t really give a lot in this performance. It wasn’t bad at all; in fact, it was quite good, but considering her role was very minor, she managed to do some good to it for the time remaining of the musical. As for her look; she is giving me Joan Collin’s snakeskin diamond realness, and her make-up is a lot more subtle yet simple this week, which is a good step in direction. (Performance: TOOT / Look: TOOT)


Verdict? Ms. Shea Coulee of course! This bitch KILLED this challenge, and is definetly one of the running competitors to the crown so hopefully there are some hungry queens that want to beat her to the crown too! Other top scores go to the resilience of last weeks bottom chick Trinity Taylor and the rise of Eureka, both whom managed to push themselves this week to give a solid performance and a more warmer/collective mannerism. You go queens!

Unfortunately, Cynthia Lee Fontaine and Farrah Moan hit the bottom; Cynthia for her lack of lip-syncing skills, and Farrah’s lack of personality or role-play in Kylie Jenner. Guest judge Meghan Trainor, who literally wore an atrocious unicorn onesie to the RuPaul stage (what the F Ms. Thang?), offer her song “Woman Up” as their bottom 2 number. The performance was pretty good; Cynthia doing her stripping and sexy performance, whilst Farrah kept that poppy cuteness in her moves, but overall, I still felt like it was a bit boring. I’m STILL WAITING for a lip-sync that screams like to me.

BUT BANG! A big announcement was made. Both Cynthia and Farrah were declared safe on the occasion of another queens exit. Due to medical reasons that would prevent this queen from going threw anymore challenges, Ms. Eureka was asked to leave the competition by Ms. RuPaul because of her knee injury on the cheerleading challenge, making her the second queen of all seasons to be disqualified for specific reasons, the first being… eeehmmmm, you know who (season 4… look it up). It was a sad departure, knowing that Eureka was definitely doing a 180 to improve her performance and personality, but what’s done is done. But, as RuPaul mentioned, Ms. Thang is invited back to Season 10 with an open invitation, and, without a thought in mind, Ms. Eureka took that as the right opportunity.

Agree with my review? Comment below on what you thought about the episode!

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